I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
