i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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