I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
