Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
