I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
