im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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