ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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