and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
