last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Walk of Shame today included voting.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
