All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
