K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So vagazzling was a success
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
