I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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