is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
