i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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