didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
