how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
