i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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