does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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