Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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