so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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