in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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