So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
