you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
