at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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