So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
