I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
