oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
