the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
