a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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