Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Life is so much better after having sex.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up under a house in Key West
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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