I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
