I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
