man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
