Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
