Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
