Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
