dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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