as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize