I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
