Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
