He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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