Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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