I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
