she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
