To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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