please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
