i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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