we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize