I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
