can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize