is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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