So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
