Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
