My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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