About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
