i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
