I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Boobs are out for the taking
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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