He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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