Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
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