sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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