i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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