A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
